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April-Fools.md

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+# NodBot April Fools
+* At midnight EDT on April 1st, 2025, NodBot will send a message in `#announcements` alerting to users of the 'Hub that there has been an update to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy of NodBot.
+   * This message will also announce a new subscription-based model of the bot whereby users must pay $X/mo to continue using the bot.
+* NodBot will respond to all (?) commands from unauthorized users (freeloaders) with a denial message with a link to my PayPal where users can pay their monthly fees. 
+* When a user is added to the authorized users list, NodBot should send a message somewhere in the 'Hub, mocking the user, maybe calling them a simp.
+* Obvious exemption for me for all of these rules.
+
+# Message
+> 🚨 Attention, peasants 🚨
+> 
+> Big changes are here! As of today, NodBot is no longer a free service. Due to rising operational costs, we’re moving to a subscription-based model.
+> 
+> 💰 New Pricing Structure:
+> 
+> * Basic Peasant Tier: $10/month
+>    * Unlocks basic commands:
+>    * `.gif`, `.pasta`, `.md`
+> 
+> * Premium Sucker Tier: $15/month
+>    * Grants access to NodBot’s premium commands:
+>    * `.joint`, `/strain`
+> 
+> * Ultimate Simp Tier: $20/month
+>    * Grants access to exclusive managerial commands:
+>    * `/setnick`, `/edit`, `/save`
+> 
+> Effective immediately, non-paying users (freeloaders) will have all commands rejected. To regain access, kindly deposit your hard-earned cash via this link: [PayPal](https://paypal.me/v0idf1sh).
+> 
+> Thank you for your continued (and now mandatory) support!
+> 
+> — NodBot, your favorite paywalled AI overlord
+
+### Terms of Use
+By continuing to exist within the same digital space as NodBot, you automatically agree to the following terms:
+* Subscription Fees – Access to NodBot is now a privilege, not a right. Users must pay the required fees or suffer the consequences (i.e., total rejection and public shaming).
+* Payment Processing Period – Due to fraud prevention measures, payments must be verified before access to the bot is restored. Please allow 2-4 hours for access to be restored.
+* Non-Refundable Payments – If you thought there were refunds, think again moron. No take-backs.
+* Service Interruptions – NodBot may go offline at any time due to totally legitimate server issues. No compensation will be provided.
+* Arbitrary Rule Enforcement – Rules are subject to change at my whim, and compliance is mandatory.
+
+### Privacy Policy
+* Data Collection – NodBot does collect personal data, including but not limited to: location, IP address, MAC address, physical address, mother's maiden name, social security number, credit card numbers, phone fingerprints, physical fingerprints, penis size and girth, first pet's name, city where you met your spouse, and city where your parents met.
+* Payment Info – All payments are processed through a sketchy-looking PayPal link. NodBot and voidf1sh take no responsibility if your bank calls you afterward.
+* Chat Logs – NodBot may or may not remember every dumbass thing you’ve ever typed. Just assume it does.
+* Third-Party Sharing – Your usage data may be shared with savage's mom
+* Right to Be Forgotten – You can request NodBot forget your existence, but that requires a one-time processing fee of $50.